Teen romance, online-style

"Even the most personal conversations now occur without human contact," reports college student and contributor Amy Sennett in the Washington Post. In her entertaining article about the electronic elements of dating, she tells us that, these days, instant messaging (IM) is the "communication lifeline" of young adults, and "the rules of virtual conversation and courtship are no more simple or well defined than they were in Jane Austen's world." There are no fewer conventions with email- and IM-enhanced relationships, you see. "One of the new conventions is that an email carries more weight than a casual IM conversation," where mere flirting occurs. "E-mail, at least for my guy friends, is one rung down on the emotional ladder from marriage proposals and shared bank accounts," Amy writes. "As a result, hundreds of thousands of confused college women like me now decode these messages as if we are searching for hidden professions of love in the Rosetta stone." Amy's piece focuses on the nuanced impact of various technologies on new friendships, more than on the ethics and etiquette involved at the other end - breaking up online. Is it a cop out not let someone down face-to-face? All this is still being worked out, and it's a fascinating process needing plenty of TLC on the observer/parent's part (we would love to hear from you and your son or daughter if you have stories of this type to tell - email feedback@netfamilynews.org).

Another layer of this social-techno tangle kids face, not dealt with in Amy's article, is texting on a cell phone - probably closer to IM in lightness of touch and brevity of message. One mom told us her high-schooler uses his phone more "for quick messages to figure out meeting logistics with friends and his family" (see my 5/7 issue on cell phone parental controls). Maybe phones kick in when the relationship is already in full swing!